Tender Spaces

Dear Grandmother,

I have written you an invitation to come around Christmas if you would like. It wasn’t actually my idea but it is a nice one, and though I doubt you can make it, you would be very welcome. I must admit it is a little late though. It will probably be Christmas day when you receive this. Have a good one!

With me things are going as best they can. Sometimes it seems like a hopeless uphill road, sometimes things are good. You may know I’m having certain visual difficulties. I’m not sure whether they are due to emotional or physical causes or both but I am doing the best I can under the circumstances. It may be due to pressure on the optic nerves. I have repeatedly felt pressure in my head, but vitamins seem to help a lot. I have sometimes gone 2 days with no source of B vitamins, at which point things got much worse, then they got better in a day or two when I started taking them again. So I must remember that however odd it seems that they should help so much they do and I shouldn’t spurn them other than that ( and there is not much else in my mind at the present) things are fine. Though it snowed once, it is not too cold.

The school has changed a lot since Tom Durrie left. Or maybe I have changed a lot. It seems to me he sort of gave life and a purpose to this place. I miss him a little. I also miss my friends at the hospital. It is not good to leave a place when there are people you care about. I have just heard my good friend and roommate Susan who became an outpatient shortly before I left has gone back to inpatienting. It is the first time that I have ever heard her say that things are not going well and that sort of thing makes me want to take the next plane. But even if I could, I have travelled too much as it is this summer, and I should like to stay in one place as much as possible until I feel better and more able to take care of myself. Sometimes I wish it was more structured here.

As for Primal therapy, it seems they are now having a massive training program to train people to do it. The snag is you need an MA. I vaguely thought of buying an MA on the black market, but I dislike that kind of shortcut.

I have confidence that I will get back on my feet soon thought. The sooner the better but I don’t know when that will be. Don’t worry, I am doing the best I can.

Here’s hoping you feel better than I do and that you have a good Christmas. If mother and kids do come over, tell them how much I’d like to see them and that they’ve also been invited here. Also wish them the best of Christmasses.

Much love,

Gaëtane

P.s. - I am sorry I am still depending on you. I guess for the time being I need to.